Crying in Hobby Lobby

I went to Hobby Lobby today, which is a pretty big deal for me these days.  I haven't gone out much since Enoch died.  Crowds, people, shopping.  It's all overwhelming to me.  Today I got out though.  I needed to get some supplies to create a memory book for Enoch.  I need to write down his story, his impact, and document the eleven short hours we had with him.

We were in the aisle with all the scrapbooking paper.  Who knew there were so many kinds?  My friend Alicia looked over and asked what kind of paper I wanted.  I began to cry.  The paper wasn't as overwhelming as the void.  You see Alicia and I talked about how on my maternity leave we would go to Hobby Lobby.  She would push the baby in the cart, and it would get me out of the house.  But now I'm on my maternity leave, and instead of looking at frivolous things we don't need and shouldn't spend our money on, she's pushing a cart full of supplies for a memory book.  And since a memory book is the only thing Tim and I will have of our son,  I cried in the middle of Hobby Lobby.  Luckily Alicia is used to this; let's me cry it out, gives me a hug and then we move on.

And who in the world would have thought I would be taking up scrapbooking in the new year?  Not me - ever!